The Eternal Feminine

In the honeymoon scene of "The Eternal Feminine," a bride named Lupita envisioned what would happen on her wedding night. This scene is significant in its portrayal of Lupita and Juan as the newlywed couple, and it shows the demands that were placed on females that men did not have to live up to. There was a double standard, and Juan had expectations of Lupita which bordered on the verge of abuse.

The scene opens after she and her husband, Juan, have "consummated" their marriage. Juan was shown pacing the floor in a sudden rage, while Lupita, on the other hand, was pouring plasma on her veil to signify her virginity to him. There was never any reference made as to whether or not Juan was a virgin at the time of copulation. However, Lupita was expected to prove her virginity. This shows a double standard between Lupita and Juan. Not only was Lupita going to be expected by her husband to be a virgin, but also she would be rejected if she proved to be touched by another man. However, there was no reference at all made to Juan's purity. In fact, he sounded as if he were experienced and knew what it was like to be with a virgin given the fact that he didn't believe that Lupita was truly pure.

Juan asked if Lupita was a virgin, and also, he calls her "Shameless hussy!" if she enjoyed the exchange. Lupita takes the bait and states that not only did she not like it, but it pained her and she didn't want to do it anymore.
This draws up a red flag for me as a reader. Calling your wife names in today's world is considered a form of abuse. To be more specific, Juan was being verbally abusive to his wife. Yet, Lupita just grins and bears it. She never chastised him for calling her names, and she also didn't sink to his level by pacing the floor criticizing him for not being pure. Lupita showed in this part of the passage that she could rise above the situation and be a better person. Or, perhaps, she was just expecting Juan to act this way, and since it was an accepted role for a new husband, she didn't expect him to act differently. If this were a correct observation, it would mean that women like Lupita were expecting verbal abuse from the moment they said "I do."

Juan enjoyed these statements and remarked that he would not mind taking it from her if she chose not to give it to him. He also stated to her that soon she would be complaining about how often they have sexual intercourse rather than the pain involved in copulating. This shows signs of another form of abuse- physical abuse.

In today's world, if a woman says no and a man still takes sex from her, that is a form of rape. Anytime a woman is made to have sexual relations of any kind with anyone, that is rape. Juan simply threw it out there, and Lupita didn't seem to be upset by it. This culture is showing that not only would it be okay to verbally assault your wife, but it should not be an issue to rape a wife if she says she will not have sexual relations with you.

The problem between Juan and Lupita is that their relationship is one of abuse. Juan is the abuser, and Lupita is the victim. As described in "The F Word: Feminism in Jeopardy," "Through the hard work of women like [Betty] Friedan in the second wave, there have been tremendous changes in the experiences and expectations of marriage. It is no longer common for women to lose their identity shortly after walking down the aisle. Young women are now in the process of redefining marriage so that it works for them."

It goes on to state that "Being single really makes you a stronger person, because there isn't someone else to rely on," and "there's a lot of freedom and independence that goes along with being single- not being accountable to anyone and having the freedom to pretty much do whatever you want, whenever you want."

I am not arguing that marriage is a horrible idea because your husband will abuse you. Nor am I going to say that women everywhere should stay single for life because it is the only way you can feel free to live your life and be your own person. What I am saying is that each person is different. What works for one woman could be the downfall of somebody else. Rather than judging people and choosing to compartmentalize the genders, we should strive to ensure happiness. We are all created differently and serve different functions. By placing us in boxes, the society as a whole will be weakened. Perhaps what is needed for Lupita is a more Americanized way of thinking. It seems she could use "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness." Women are people, not cattle. They should be treated as individuals in the same fashion as men.